Back to You
by CoffeeObsessed
Summary: A five part John Mayer songfic series about Eric and Donna's relationship. reformatted 2007
1. Back to You

This is part 1/5 in a John Mayer songifc series about Eric and Donna's relationship. It is in both of their points of view. Donna is in **bold**, and Eric is not. The song is "Back to You", and the timing is post-breakup and pre-Casey.

_Back to you_

_It always comes around_

_Back to you_

_I try to forget you_

_I try to stay away_

_But it's too late_

**I tried to leave Eric behind when he broke up with me, but I just couldn't.  
You don't just forget about your first love like that. I tried to avoid  
him, but it's hard to avoid someone who lives next store to you.**

_Over you  
I'm never over  
Over you  
There's something about you  
It's just the way you move  
The way you move me_

When Donna gave me that ring back, it felt like she was taking her love  
back from me, but I couldn't get rid of her that easily. I couldn't just  
forget about her. I couldn't forget all that we'd shared. I couldn't  
forget about what made me fall in love with her. Every time I saw her I  
noticed it. It was like she was doing it on purpose. Trying to make me  
feel even worse about it. I wasn't going to get over her. I couldn't get  
over her.

_Yeah  
I'm so good at forgetting  
And I quit every game I play  
But forgive me love  
I can't turn and walk away_

**I can't just make myself stop loving Eric. Those feelings don't just get  
turned off, no matter how hard you may want them to. I can't just walk  
away from what my heart feels, but he made me. I had to. Loving someone  
forever is different from being with someone forever. I want Eric there  
with me, but I don't want to promise something that I'm afraid of. Not  
now. Not yet.**

_Back to you  
It always comes around  
Back to you  
I walk with your shadow  
I'm sleeping in my bed  
With your silhouette_

I dream about her almost every night. She haunts me. I want to let her  
go, but she just won't let me. I didn't want to break up with her. I  
didn't want to sleep with an invisible version of her. I wanted to be with  
her forever. And now I can't forget her.

_You should have smiled for that picture  
If it's the last that I see of you  
It's the least that you could not do_

**I put all of the stuff that reminded me of him away the other day. I  
looked at all of the pictures I had of us. We looked so happy together.  
How could it have ended like this? Couldn't there have even been a good  
reason? How could we have gone from a state of happiness I found  
in the pictures to . . . gone?**

_Oh I will  
Leave the light on  
I'll never give up on you  
Leave the light on  
For me too  
For me too  
For me too_

But I'm not going to stop being there for Donna. I'll be there when she's  
ready for me. I'm not going to give up on her. I just hope she won't give  
up on me. If she gives up on me, I'll know that there's no hope left. But  
I won't let her. I won't stop letting her know that I'm here for her.  
I'll always be here for her, when she's ready.

_Back to me  
I know that it comes  
Back to me  
Doesn't it scare you  
Your will is not as strong  
As it used to be_


	2. Not Myself

This is Donna's point of view about her relationship with Casey Kelso. The song is "Not Myself".

_suppose I said  
I am on my best behavior  
there are times  
I lose my worried mind_

I realize when I'm out with him and he doesn't have me drunk that it's  
crazy to be with him. It's just wrong for me to be with Casey. Casey is  
just all wrong for me. He's the polar opposite of Eric. Eric. God, why  
do I still think about him now? Maybe that's why I've absorbed myself in  
Casey. I need him to keep me from thinking about Eric.

_would you want me when I'm not myself  
wait it out while I am someone else_

Does Eric still even want me now that I've gone off with his best friend's  
brother? Is he waiting for me? Does he even care about me now? Why do I  
care about him? I know he's not coming back.

_suppose I said  
colors change for no good reason  
words will go  
from poetry to prose  
would you want me when I'm not myself  
wait it out while I am someone else_

WHY am I with Casey? It's not like he even understands what I say most of  
the time. Eric always did. No matter what he knew exactly what I was  
talking about. Exactly what I meant when I didn't say anything at all.  
Yet again I'm dwelling on the past. On someone that I don't think even  
wants me anymore.

_and I  
in time  
will come around  
I always do  
for you_

I know Casey's just a passing phase, but I have to get so wrapped up in him  
that I don't notice Eric. That I don't notice that I still love him. That  
I don't notice that he doesn't seem to care anymore. I know it's going to  
end with Casey eventually. I won't marry the guy. God, I don't think I  
could even last much longer with him. And I want to go back to Eric, but  
does he want to go back to me?

_suppose I said  
you're my saving grace  
would you want me when I'm not myself  
wait it out while I am someone else  
would you want me when I'm not myself  
wait it out while I am someone else_

Eric's the only one that ever really understood me. He's the only one that  
I could tell anything to. He's the only one that I would trust with my  
life. I trust him more than my parents, more than my sisters, more than  
any of my friends. But can he keep me from going under? Will he?


	3. Split Screen Sadness

This is Eric's point of view during the summer Donna is in California. The song is "Split Screen Sadness" 

_And I don't know where you went when you left me but  
It says here in the water you must be gone by now  
I can tell some how  
One hand on the trigger of the telephone  
Wondering when the call comes  
You say it's all right  
You got your heart right_

She wanted me back, and I just couldn't take her. What the hell is wrong  
with me? Haven't I been waiting for this for a year? And she wanted to  
come back to me. And I didn't take her. And now, I can't find her  
anywhere. She's gone. I'm waiting, but she's not coming.

_Maybe I'll sleep inside my coat and  
Wait on your porch 'til you come back home  
Oh, right  
I can't find a flight_

I sat in her room for hours and she never came. I was so worried. I  
didn't know what had happened to her. Anything could have happened. She  
could have been dead for all I knew. But she wasn't there. She wasn't  
with me like I needed her to be.

_We share the sadness  
The split screen sadness  
Two wrongs make it all alright tonight  
All you need is love, is a lie cause  
We had love but we still said goodbye  
Now we're tired, battered fighters_

I loved her so much and I just had to be stupid. I had to be all proud and  
not take her back when I had the chance. Now I'm not sure if I'm ever  
going to even see her again, let alone tell her I love her still. I never  
stopped.

_And it stings when it's nobody's fault  
Cause there's nothin' to blame at the drop of your name  
It's only the air you took and the breath you left  
Maybe I'll sleep inside my coat andWait on your porch 'til you come back home  
Oh, right  
I can't find a flight  
So I'll check the weather wherever you are  
Cause I wanna know if you can see the stars tonight  
It might be my only right_

I just want her here with me. It's where she's supposed to be. But she's  
not. She's in California. She's probably forgotten about me. She  
probably doesn't want me back now. She's probably found someone better.  
Someone that's not too proud to take her as she is. Someone . . . not me.

_We share the sadness  
The split screen sadness  
We share the sadness  
Split screen sadness  
I called  
Because  
I just  
Need to feel you on the line  
Don't hang up this time  
And I know it was me who called it over but  
I still wish you'd fought me 'til your dying day  
Don't let me get away_

I just want to tell her how I feel and how stupid I was. How I know that  
she meant it and that Casey wasn't anything and that I need her back here  
and that I love her more than ever . . . more than anything . . . more than  
I've ever loved something or someone before. But she won't here it now.  
She's too far away. I just need to hear her voice and know she's all  
right. I need to know if she could still love me after what I did.

_Cause I can't wait to figure out what's wrong with me  
So I can say that this is the way that I used to be  
There's no substitute for time  
Or for the sadness  
Split Screen Sadness  
We share the sadness_

I must have been crazy to tell her that I couldn't be her second choice. I  
don't know how I did it. She was crying . . . crying, man. And I did that  
to her. God, I made her cry. I can only hope she'll realize that I didn't  
mean it. I can only hope now that she'll come back.


	4. Breakaway

Donna's point of view when Eric proposes. Song is "Breakaway". 

_if melody is my destiny  
then what's left of me  
I'll give to you  
if next to me  
is all that you need to be  
would you settle for fantasy  
if its the best you could do_

I know now that through it all Eric and I are going to stay together.  
We've had our troubles and I wasn't ready to commit before now. But now .  
. . now I know that I'll never give him his ring back. I'll never leave  
for California. And I know he'll never leave me. And all I want is for  
him to be beside me. And now I know that that's all he wants too.

_can I have my cake  
can I have you too  
would you follow me  
could I ask you to_

_would the world between us  
break these ties  
we've work so hard to realize  
can postcard say  
what I see in your eyes  
could I ever break away_

I don't think I could ever leave Eric again. He'll have to follow me  
wherever I go from now on. I can't go off on a trip without him. I need  
him. I need him to be with me. He's all I've wanted for so long.

_would I be satisfied  
and find peace inside  
rolling half my life  
over broken white lines_

_can I have my cake  
can I have you too  
would you follow me  
could I ask you to_

_will I wake up one morning  
and see your face  
and streaks on the window  
that the rainstorm makes  
could you bear all the weight  
and the strength that it takes  
could I ever break away_

Leaving Eric would make me crazy. And when we're married ... married. When  
we're married I won't ever have to leave him again. I'll get to see him  
EVERY morning when I wake up. I'll get to see him no matter what. And we  
won't have anything come between us ever again. That's the best part.  
When we're married ... nothing bad could happen. Ever.

_can I have my cake  
can I have you too  
would you follow me  
could I ask you to_

_would the world between us  
break these ties  
we've worked so hard to realize  
can a postcard say  
what I see in your eyes  
could I ever break away_

And I know Eric would follow me across the country. Across the world,  
even, if I asked him to.


	5. Only Heart

Eric's point of view during after graduation, sort of. Sorry it got a little sappy. The song is "Only Heart". 

_Do not waste this evening  
Baby I'm begging you  
Your big imagination's playing it's tricks on you  
If you think my up and leaving's something I'm  
gonna do  
Feel my chest when I look at you  
Baby, you_

_You got my only heart  
Yeah, you got my only heart  
Yeah, you got my only  
Only heart_

Every time I see her, my heart almost skips a beat. It's all cliché and  
everything, but that's how I feel. I mean, man, look at her. And look at  
me. Now how do we match? We don't and that's the thing. But if I ever  
thought that I could find something better than her again, I'd have to get  
Hyde to shoot me, because there's nothing I could find better than her.  
She's got my heart to squish as she pleases.

_It's so hard to be so far out  
Livin' our separate lives  
Your phone was really broken  
I tried your number twice  
And if you need conformation, baby I understand  
It's alright if you want me to  
Tell you, you_

_You got my only heart  
Yeah, you got my only heart  
Yeah, you got my only  
Only heart_

I can't stand to be away from her for too long. I remember when she was  
pretending to date Fez and all I did was think about her. I followed her  
on her "dates". Every time we fight and I get mad and walk away, I have to  
be back around her within a few hours or I start to go a little crazy and  
listen to what Kelso says. I really don't know what I did with myself  
before she was here to keep me on the ground.

_And you love like your hand's on the horn, baby  
I adore you but there's a hole in the cup that should  
hold your love  
If you let me leave  
I swear I never will_

I made the mistake of losing her once, and if that ever happens again . . .  
I don't know what I'd do. I'll never leave her now. I'd be stupid to lose  
the best thing that's ever happened to me. Man, what's with me and clichés  
today? What is it about her that makes it okay for me to be acting like  
some little schoolgirl in love with David Cassidy? Only, I'm a grown man  
in love with the perfect woman. And you know what the funny thing is? She  
loves me back.

_Remember now you  
You've got my only heart  
Yah, you got my only heart  
Yah, you got my only  
Only heart_


End file.
